ABANDON ALL SHAME, YOU WHO ENTER HERE!

I first came to consciousness in the bottom of an abandoned mine shaft on the planet Zworg. I was fed pablum through a tube which extended from the wall. Every afternoon, beings on the surface would drop trash down on me and laugh at me. Using only a nail clipper, I managed to tunnel through solid rock to the planet's Central Control Room, where I reprogrammed all the computers to spread spontaneous neurosis through the populace. I then stole an interstellar ramjet and made my way to the planet Earth-- where I find the natives to be extremely weird (but some of them are likable).

This site is filled with the perverfid outpourings of my feverish imagination and twisted mind. You may choose from poetry, short stories, or my novel (in progress). Also, feel free to check out my political website at www21.brinkster.com/redwave69.
You may also sign my guestbook or contact me by E-mail, should you find it desirable to do so.

This is a photo of the inside of my mother's brain.

What's New?

There is nothing new under the sun; the more things change, the more they stay the same, etc. However, in this section I'll let you know when I add something new to this site, so you can snarf up the new content.
December 4, 2000: As I've just started this site, it's still under construction. To get it started, here's the poem which I consider my best:

HER EYES

I still remember what she said, the bitch
Her eyes were of the deepest shade of blue
If you're so smart, how come you ain't rich?

Although she was a smooth and supple witch
That afternoon she showed me round the zoo
I still remember what she said, the bitch

Smiling about the hot dogs and the itch
And "yes, I cannot say but that it's true"
If you're so smart, how come you ain't rich?

I thought at last I'd found my only niche
Free from the brainrot of all I knew
I still remember what she said, the bitch

Standing there before me without a stitch
The shadows along her lipcurves grew
If you're so smart, how come you ain't rich?

Now navels sprout in season, but only wrench
New scorn from a man who knows he's through
I still remember what she said, the bitch
If you're so smart, how come you ain't rich?



12-5-00: Check out the "Best Poems" section for more of my very best poems.
12-11-00: Added "Geranium Desert."
12-12-00: Added "The Dark Side" (unfinished).
12-14-00: Added "Sliding Into Death."
12-15-00: Added poems to "The Dark Side."
12-17-00: Added "MASTURBATION MOTHER and other poems" (incomplete).
12-18-00: Added "Altar of Athena" (incomplete).
12-19-00: Added "Symphony of Screams" (unfinished) and completed table of contents and added more poems to "MASTURBATION MOTHER and other poems"
12-22-00: Added "Songs of the Disembodied Intellect"
(unfinished),and completed table of contents to "Altar of Athena" and "Symphony of
Screams"
12-28-00: Added "BUTT JUICE and other poems"
(unfinished), and completed "Brain in a Jar"
in "Songs of the Disembodied Intellect"
1-3-01: Added "Some Men Are Born to Greatness" (first part). Stay tuned for future installments.
1-5-01: Added second part of "Some Men Are Born to Greatness."
1-6-01: Added more poems to "Symphony of Screams"
2-3-01: Completed "Some Men Are Born to Greatness"
6-14-01: Added "Trying to Survive" and two new poems
on the Poetry page

You will sign my guestbook . . . you are getting very sleepy . . . sign my guestbook . . . your eyes are growing heavy. . . sign the damn guestbook, already . . . heavy, very heavy . . . YOU VILL SIGN DE GUESTBOOK, SCHWEINHUNT!!!

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Copyright 2000 Stephen D. Hampton